Living life on a roller coaster seems to be the norm for many people. Getting caught in a negative cycle is a terrible place to be and difficult to escape. Negative thoughts usually begin with how you speak to yourself. If you are harsh, critical and have unrealistic expectations for yourself it is difficult not to try to hold others by the same standards. Negative thinking taints how you see the world while adversely informing your behavior causing you to be caught in a vicious circle.
This cycle can be broken by confronting your negative limiting beliefs! This means questioning what you think to see if it holds up to the truth test! Are you really alone or just by yourself at the moment? Are people really always mean or hurtful to you? if yes do you have to stay in their company? Are you really less than everyone else? question what you think and shine the light of truth on it! Then start looking for what real, whats great, whats lovely and whats wonderful.
Get up every morning telling yourself "I Matter" so I'm heading out not just to be successful but to become significant because "I just want to Matter"!
Speaker, Writer and Leadership Coach
Are you like many others who live their lives reviewing, rehearsing and reliving past issues and pain? Telling yourself if only you woulda, coulda, shoulda.......?
Many people today are living without the benefit of peace due to issues that have not healed in their lives. Many of the issues are very painful and can be disruptive to your daily life. Holding unresolved issues is like grabbing a hot stove daily, and not expecting to be burned. Every time the past invades your future, you are giving these issues permission to run you life backwards. Hindering your growth and delaying your destiny. Without warning these painful memories invade happy moments bringing friends like, sadness, anger, sorrow, and frustration.
Some people carry these issues like places of honor because they feed other issues like attention seeking and low self worth. For many people being a victim has it benefits, but they are earned a dungeon of a life without peace. We issues and hurts rule our lives we view the world through a dark lens. Joy love and peace are short lived because our issues crowd our those memories. To begin the work toward greater peace we have to take all of our thoughts captive, not allowing them to run unchallenged or unchecked. Question every disturbing thought and see if it comes from a place of truth, honesty and present time! Is that happening now, or back then? Once you have captured your thoughts begin to forgive either the offender or yourself. Release it and let it go! Capture, Challenge and release! The path to perfect peace! "I just want to Matter" don't you?
Did you know what you think informs what you do! Negative, down and dismal thoughts effect every aspect of your life. There has been numerous studies that negative thoughts effect physical health as well as emotional well being. Negative, hopeless thoughts destroy relationships and undermine the foundations of love. It acts as a barrier impeding positive, loving thoughts and actions from coming in. If by chance something does penetrate the barrier, negativity has done an excellent job of planting mistrust of anything positive.
The great news is that anyone can learn to combat, control and overcome "stinkin thinkin!". When you learn and put into practice techniques of re-framing distorted thoughts, your outlook as well as inward feelings change dramatically. Scripture teaches that we must control ourselves and our thought life. It goes on to say whatever is true, lovely, kind and of good report think on these things! Philippians 4:8. The idea is when you are bombarded with negativity, look for something better, higher, truer....... when you do self talk or self thought commanding your mind to obey changes will begin. We are not to allow our minds to idly wander filling itself with any negativity. It is our personal responsibility to guard our hearts and minds, controlling what comes in so it doesn't pervert what comes out. Proverbs 16:32 says "Moderation is better than muscle, self control better than political power" MSG.
Amy Moran, LCSW indicated finding and recognizing our "blue thoughts" will give the needed power to over come them. According to Amy "Blue" is an acronym for blaming myself; looking for the bad news; unhappy guessing; and exaggeratedly negative. It represents the thoughts that are just too negative to actually be true. We you work to control your thoughts you begin by what the scripture says whatever is true think on these things. Next blog we will deal with unresolved hurts.
Starting a new year is a great time to begin discovering what really matters to you! Do you want to live a more positive and fulfilled life? Would you like to accomplish the things you dream about? Is it time to make that change? start that business? begin that lifelong relationship? Or become closer to God, and deeper spiritually? All of these things begin when we decide to deal with stinking thinking, unresolved hurts, negative practices, toxic surroundings, unfulfilled destiny and devalued self worth.
We will deal with each of the above mentioned area's in future blogs, because they form our habits and inform our lives. The discovery of what really matters to you begins with your belief system. So take a good swig of coffee along with a deep breath and begin to ask yourself the following questions. Do my actions reveal what I truly believe? Are my deeds tied to my character? Do I say one thing but deep down believe something else? Do I see my best self, and work on promoting that image? or are you waiting for the you, you haven't met?
These are basic, bottom-line questions that everyone must face and address. The old Shakespearean saying "to thine own self be true!", tells us above all else tell yourself the truth. There is no way any of us can accomplish great things in our lives without first exploring who we are and why we do what we do! The change begins here! Won't you start today? Repeat after me, "I just want to MATTER!"
Sonya Cheltenham, Coach, Consultant, Speaker, Author
Author, Retired Pastor, Counselor, Leadership Coach and Speaker